Live from Mysore #11 (Britney Spears and the pursuit of enlightenment)

Nagaraja (my meditation teacher) was talking to me about suffering and the human condition. He told me every human is insane, but if you announce these things publicly, you will be crucified. Suffering, according to Nagaraja, is caused by unobtainable desires, like wanting a million dollars. Then he says, “… or wanting to have sex with Britney Spears.” When he said that, my first thought was, “Hey, wait a second… I was in the lobby of a condo building on Santa Monica beach and out of the elevator walked Britney Spears. She was wearing a pair of Uggs and a peach colored slip dress. As she walked out of the elevator, she was about 5 feet away from me. I remember thinking, “this girl that looks like Britney Spears has some thick leggs.” Then I realized it was her, Britney Spears. Her skin is kind of bad and has patches of acne. We made eye contact. I thought for a second, “I could have sex with Britney Spears. But I don’t think I want to.”

I think about it for a second and decide to tell Nagaraja the story. After I tell him the story, there’s a long pause and he just stares at me. I’m thinking, “Maybe I shouldn’t have told him that story.” As the pause starts to get uncomfortable, he finally breaks the silence and says, “Okay, okay… Angelina Jolie.” And then proceeds to continue his lecture.

But I was stuck in a revelation: We the people of America—or better yet, LA—are privileged. Not so much because it’s possible we could have sex with Britney Spears (I mean, really, do you think some Indian boy has that chance-or wants it-?). But because we have so many good things and opportunities that a large part of the world considers unobtainable.

I’d appreciate it if no one forwarded this to Britney Spears.

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