Nothing

I went to the store. The cheap store. As I walked in, I saw the friend of a friend and said hello as he passed by. Then I heard someone call my name. I looked around but didn’t see anyone. Then I heard my name again and I saw my friend who was the friend of the friend’s friend in the refrigerator section.

I said, “Hey I just saw your friend.” He said, “Yeah, we came together.” I said, “You shop with your friend?” He said, “Dude I am not gay.” I said, “OK, I believe you, but I wouldn’t care either way.”

I bought some non-organic blueberries, strawberries and yogurt.

I was standing in line behind a man standing back from an older woman who was in front of him. The older woman must have been a smoker and got lip cancer because a lot of her mouth was cut away and she was drooling some. The man in front of me was visibly upset by this. I wanted to say to him, “Don’t you feel lucky at this very moment?” Like the story of the guy with no shoes being upset until he saw the guy with no feet. The woman with no mouth was with a very happy middle-aged man who I guessed was her son. He was putting package after package of napkins on the conveyor belt at the cash register.

When I got home I put my fruit and yogurt away and went to the laundry room. My clothes had been in the dryer while I was gone. I love to multi-task… it gives me time to do what I love best, which is nothing.

When I brought my clothes back to my apartment, I noticed my cell phone blinking indicating that I had a message. But I didn’t listen to the message right away because I wanted to fold my laundry and put it away before it got wrinkly. Just as I finished the phone rang and I answered it. It was another friend. He said, “Dude, I’ve been calling you and calling you… where were you?” I told him I was at the store. He said, “Why didn’t you answer your phone?” I told him I did not take my phone with me to the store. He said, “Why not?”  I said, “My phone already has everything it needs. “

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