Think twice – post once

In the new world, when we die, what flashes before our eyes will not be our lives. It will be everything we posted on the internet.

It was raining when I turned left onto Santa Monica Blvd. As I turned, my smart phone – which I believe to be of only average intelligence – slides across the bench seat of my 1992 Toyota pickup and fell between the seat and the passenger side door.

I once had the same experience with an open can of Coca Cola. There was a time after that that the passenger side door was difficult to open. Someone once told me Rod Stewart used to pour cola on the stage before every show so he would not slip and fall during his performance.  But now my phone is in that dirty spot.

I can go days without getting a call on my phone. Sometimes I wonder if my phone is broken it rings so infrequently. But now that it is in that gap between the seat and the passenger door in the forbidden zone I now refer to as Rod Stewart’s stage, it rings.

I hate the sound of my phone ringing. No matter what cute, irritating or old school ring I set it to, the ringing of my phone always makes me think of tragedy.

It was Christmas day so I wasn’t terribly surprised that my Aunt answered my parents’ phone when I called. Most of my relatives at least act joyous during the holiday season. Which is why it was strange my Aunt sounded so flat. The way we show love in the town I grew up in is to give people shit or a hard time. So I say to my Aunt, who sounds a little down answering my parents’ phone on Christmas, “Who died?”

After a long pause she says, “I think you should talk to your mother.”

There are probably a million things that have come out of my mouth I have instantly regretted. You may find this hard to believe – especially if you have read the things I have posted on the internet in the past – I think twice, sometimes more, about everything I put on the internet.

I still miss talking to my Grandmother about the latest Vampire novels. I especially miss her telling me she thinks Anne Rice has lost her edge.


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