Homeless Mike

I was walking after the Sunset. I ran into Mike. He’s homeless. He said could you please just talk to me? He told me he has fucked up so bad he doesn’t think he can fix it but, he is sure he could help others with their problems. Sounds familiar. He says can you get me a pair of boxer shorts? Who’s gonna deny a man underwear? So I go in the Fallas store all the way in the back. All they have is 3 packs for $5.99 (one brand only) and a few single pairs on hangers (same brand) with no price. I take them up front and ask how much it is for the single. The girl looks on the computer and tells me 30 cents. I say, what? She says 30 cents. I don’t know that much about math but since a 3 pack is 5.99 it seems off to me but I’m not going to argue. I walk out and give the boxers to Mike and he thanks me in an uncomfortable way. Then asks if he can have the receipt, I don’t want to give it to him cause it was so fucking cheap I’m embarrassed but of course I do. I don’t know if he will look but, if he does he will say WTF? just like me.

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2 AM

Los Angeles Freeway system at 2 AM is everything it was meant to be and everything it is not in the daylight. The wind roars in my open window ears. It’s almost as loud as the music on the stereo of my 10-year-old Honda. It feels a little like freedom but I have often asked myself if I know what true freedom is. For now, I am as close as I need to be..

Too dark

Like a blood red wolf climbing out of my soul, ears down and hungry. We forgot who we are in the social structure of media. Our nails have been cut and filed but our hearts are still difficult to sooth. The savage beast is in lock down. In the basement of all basements, lifting weights and eating protein powder in the darkest corners of our minds. Waiting, growing stronger and unstoppable. The beast wants love just like you and me. But of course, it is been too long and too distorted. Like a red ball bouncing higher and higher until it becomes the nose of a clown who keeps peculiar things buried under its house. The clown wants love too and it cries as it eats it’s own heart screaming in the torn flesh of confusion.

It is…

I sit in an over lit café on a dark fall night surrounded by the sounds of a Juke box that has not been updated since 1988.

It’s a Time Machine that dances with my veggie burger and fries like old lovers long forgotten.

It’s moments like these when I question everything and nothing equally.

It’s moments like these when I am paralyzed in the perfection of now.

It’s moments like these when the silence is louder than love.

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Carpeted in the wall to wall American dream

The full moon looked down on me against the tropical night.

It’s reflections danced on my jack-o’-lantern mind singing songs written on stolen stationery from a cheap hotel that looked out on a highway with a number long since forgotten.

Deep in the shag of loneliness, carpeted in the wall to wall American dream we sit and contemplate our physical lives that play over and over like a radio station not quite in tune.

Seeing all the answers like smoke rings that shift under the light breeze of refrigerated air.

Get your wings

I sat in a nearly empty wing of the Colorado airport. I saw a small bird flying through the announcements and the artificial light. I wondered how this bird got in here and what she thought of the place. She landed on the short and strangely colored carpeting several arms length in front of me. I looked at the bird and I felt human, more human than I felt in a long time. Then the bird flew away. I think it took part of me with it. Something I no longer needed. I don’t remember what it was.

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Pacific Ocean #7

The waves slapped me like the foot of God.

It was a baptism.

Under the crash of the water the only thing I could hear were the thoughts that rang distant in my head like wolves howling in the hills, love sick and alone.

I laughed in my complete lack of power as I was pushed into the rocky, sandy, bottom.

I reach the shore on hands and knees smiling like a mad monkey stoned on fermented fruit.

I looked up into the light of the sun.

Laying on my back I heard the voices of children.

They seem free.

But not nearly as free as this moment.

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Exercise and exorcise.

A lot of heavy emotions are like ghosts. It’s like you’re haunted and you need a exorcism. The funny thing is that one of the things that can help to remove these ghost like negative emotions is to do yoga, or walk, run, go to the gym and physically exercise. Is it just me that sees a link between these words?  Exercise and exorcise.

Which Side Are You On?

The slam of the steel door was so loud it created complete silence. In the silence I heard a voice that said, “I’ll be right back” I kicked and screamed and beat the walls and the doors and the lies until I was exhausted. And when I turned around I realize, I was not locked in the cage. I was locked out of the cage.

pool party unicorns

A tattooed girl in a leopard skin bikini and a trucker hat lays passed out next to the pool. Her head is turned to the left and her right arm hangs in the blue water. The cup that contained her drink drifts slowly across the pool reflecting California sunshine on a forth of July in America. Today we are free. I look to the sky and smile. The smell of marijuana is in the air and the thoughts in my head are soft like unconditional love.

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