Carpeted in the wall to wall American dream

The full moon looked down on me against the tropical night.

It’s reflections danced on my jack-o’-lantern mind singing songs written on stolen stationery from a cheap hotel that looked out on a highway with a number long since forgotten.

Deep in the shag of loneliness, carpeted in the wall to wall American dream we sit and contemplate our physical lives that play over and over like a radio station not quite in tune.

Seeing all the answers like smoke rings that shift under the light breeze of refrigerated air.

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Get your wings

I sat in a nearly empty wing of the Colorado airport. I saw a small bird flying through the announcements and the artificial light. I wondered how this bird got in here and what she thought of the place. She landed on the short and strangely colored carpeting several arms length in front of me. I looked at the bird and I felt human, more human than I felt in a long time. Then the bird flew away. I think it took part of me with it. Something I no longer needed. I don’t remember what it was.

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Pacific Ocean #7

The waves slapped me like the foot of God.

It was a baptism.

Under the crash of the water the only thing I could hear were the thoughts that rang distant in my head like wolves howling in the hills, love sick and alone.

I laughed in my complete lack of power as I was pushed into the rocky, sandy, bottom.

I reach the shore on hands and knees smiling like a mad monkey stoned on fermented fruit.

I looked up into the light of the sun.

Laying on my back I heard the voices of children.

They seem free.

But not nearly as free as this moment.

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Exercise and exorcise.

A lot of heavy emotions are like ghosts. It’s like you’re haunted and you need a exorcism. The funny thing is that one of the things that can help to remove these ghost like negative emotions is to do yoga, or walk, run, go to the gym and physically exercise. Is it just me that sees a link between these words?  Exercise and exorcise.

Which Side Are You On?

The slam of the steel door was so loud it created complete silence. In the silence I heard a voice that said, “I’ll be right back” I kicked and screamed and beat the walls and the doors and the lies until I was exhausted. And when I turned around I realize, I was not locked in the cage. I was locked out of the cage.

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A tattooed girl in a leopard skin bikini and a trucker hat lays passed out next to the pool. Her head is turned to the left and her right arm hangs in the blue water. The cup that contained her drink drifts slowly across the pool reflecting California sunshine on a forth of July in America. Today we are free. I look to the sky and smile. The smell of marijuana is in the air and the thoughts in my head are soft like unconditional love.

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Buddha in a Catholic church

I drove the winding yellow flower roads that led to the mystical bear so many had worshiped. I was doing 45 in a 30 mile an hour zone and locals passed me with conservative aggression. I made it to an early morning café and drank hot brown water listening to a man talk of the rising price of cement. I pulled my “America’s #1” baseball hat down over my eyes and sipped the warmth, hiding. I knew all along I would be found out. I can mingle with them but the nose ring is always a giveaway. One of us, not one of us. The large flat screen TV above the fireplace played CNN horror stories and I didn’t care. Even in satisfaction we can find dissatisfaction. Some find satisfaction in dissatisfaction. I sat like a Buddha in a Catholic church. Simple and happy to be… anywhere.ontheroad. Simple and happy to be… anywhere.

Trust in the ghetto

Bob Marley knew growing up in Trench Town (the ghetto) that on the street BMW stood for Break My Windows. So, when he was successful enough he said No, I think BMW stands for Bob Marley and The Wailers and he bought one. He never locked it. Everyone knew it was his car. His windows were never broken.

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Community

I was walking to the store. I walked past two homeless guys sharing a J. One yelled to me, “Great album!” I looked down at my shirt because I forgot what I was wearing and then I said back, “The world is full of kings and queens
Who blind your eyes and steal your dreams
It’s heaven and hell.”
He flashed me that METAL hand gesture.
When I got to the store, there was an unfortunately long line. The man at the counter eventually yelled, “Black Sabbath is next.” While he rang me up, he talked about his sadness regarding the passing of Chris Cornell and how his favorite song was Black Hole Sun. I talked a little about Temple of the Dog, which he had never heard of. When I walked home, I felt good. I like to talk to my people. I didn’t feel alone. I felt like a part of the community. I hope they did too.

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Star Dog Champion

I stood outside of the phone booth at Franklin and Highland (not there anymore), it was late. My new friend was making a call to the dark dark side to see if he could acquire “something”. We went back to his apartment and he played this album by a band from Seattle called Mother Love Bone. It really put the hook in me. The rock music scene by then had become SO corporate. This new-ish sound was so refreshing and REAL. I should have known. But I didn’t. Looking back now the music scene was ripe for a complete hostile takeover. But it was still so strong. The metal scene in LA that I had grown to dislike so much was like King Kong. Big and unbeatable. I really championed this new band and then BOOM the singer (Andrew Wood) died. I thought it was over like a match in a dark room. Just a flash. But it wasn’t over it was the beginning. Next thing I hear that moves me is some strange band called Nirvana. The first time I heard them was on KXLU Los Angeles 88.9 FM and I said WTF is this?? In 6 months I saw King Kong (the LA music scene) fall to its knees. It was like someone had dropped a bomb. It was so fast and it spread like wild fire. The monstrous LA rock scene was leveled with one punch, and by the time it hit the ground, not a single person was watching or listening. The truth and strength of the Seattle movement was HEAVY and its success was a surprise to everyone. It seems like those who created that magic may have had to pay a price. Every one of the singers is dead now. Andrew Wood, Kurt Cobain, Layne Stanley, Chris Cornell. Eddie Vedder from San Diego kind of replaced Andrew Wood if you know your history. He’s the last one. But of course he was not from Seattle. Andrew Wood was Chris Cornell’s roommate before all the “success.” Careful with that fire, friends, or at least always be aware of which way the flame is pointing.

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